Mar 29: Round Rock Wedding

Another private event. According to mapquest this ones in my backyard, about thirteen minutes from my house. What a lie! I was driving around like a mad man on all of the county roads dodging dead skunks and running farmers off the road for thirty minutes before I got a call from Big K guiding me in. Its a beautiful venue. I can't believe we've never been here before. We split the scene after a quick line check and put a serious hurting on Popeye's chicken in Round Rock. The people at the event were mad cool to us all night and I was home by midnight. A rather easy Saturday for me so let me enjoy a laid back evening without a bunch of typing. I just scored a really cool DVD. I'm gonna spend an evening downstairs with the Jamesons (Jenna and a liter bottle of Jamesons) with my home theatre system that I only use or twice a year. You should come over right now. Then again give me twenty minutes!

Magz
Dyfunkshun Junkshun
http://www.funkparty.com/

Mar 28: Cool River, Austin, Tx

Subject: .Tonight its the middle aged crazy spot known as Cool River. This is the place to be if your a north Austin/ Round Rock soccer mom looking to score or a RUG (rich ugly guy) looking for a one night stand. Now that's not nice of me to say because that's extremely judgemental. Truth be told, this is always one of the coolest crowds to play for because they dance all night. So many of our old friends come out and see us here as well because they've all grown up and moved to the burbs and they can make it home at a decent hour without owing the sitter a fortune I guess. I didn't take any pictures tonight because every time I came off stage someone was buying me a drink or propositioning me. He he. I'm serious man. I feel like a piece of meat tonight. Let me just end this entry before I say something really wrong.

Magz
Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Mar 22: Houston here we come!

OK. Did we get a chance to sleep between last nights show and the drive to Houston? Damn sure doesn't feel like it. Out of bed and back in the van. I made the mistake of a large espresso on limited sleep which caused me to be extremely irritable and shaky. I almost destroyed everything that crossed my path between Austin and Houston. It's beautiful outside but I'm stuck in the van so again no chance for some fresh air. Our hotel tonight is some twenty miles away of where were playing so we might drive back tonight. Hell, I miss my own bed and long for a meal not wrapped in a piece of paper. I was happy to see the country club we played showed us some love and gave us a hot meal... Chicken Cordon Bleu with veggie sticks and fine mashed taters. Afterwards we entertained ourselves watching COPS trying to predict which person would be the first to get the tazer. Will it be a brother? A Mexican dude? Oh wow! A white dude in a trailer park! What a shocker. In typical fashion we would not be starting on time due to the fashionably late guests, except for the fashionable, the guys were decked out in Texas Formal, but the ladies looked delectible! So as we first started I began to wonder if this thing was gonna bounce. After the first set it quickly turned into a frat party including drunk girls dancing barefoot without a clue that they were next to broken glass on the dance floor and people six inches away singing in my face, so close that I can smell what they're drinking. Feels like home to me. Junior nearly lost his cool when someone spilled a glass of water into the air while doing something mindless and both he and his bass were pelted with water and ice. I watched him nearly loose his composure for a moment. After a few quick words of encouragement he managed to get back in the game and continue grooving. The midnight hour came quickly so this show is finished. We're so far north and it's still early by our standards most of us went back to Austin leaving those fine rooms empty tonight. That's alright with me, because I stole all of the cool swag from the bathroom. Yeah, I'm rich but my daddy taught me the joy of a good sack drag. Hide your jewels!

Magz
Dyfunkshun Junkshun
http://www.funkparty.com/

Mar 21: Pignettis Killeen, Tx

Driving down the back roads to get to this show tonight. I really need to work out some of this stress I'm feeling in my joints today. Feel like I've been caged up all week for some reason. I popped some advil and drank a few beers (I know, deadly combination) but I can't seem to shake it off. I know what I need: A good show! It should be a great night because it's a beautiful full moon in the sky. Makes me wanna howl! I guess everyone else in town did as well. The people in this club are regulars and they show us so much love ... its way cool. They always send us more drinks than we can handle along with lots of adoration. Every time I look above my shades just under the stage lighting it seems like everyone it holding up a camera phone shooting video or taking pictures. I don't mind at all. In fact I love it! We show it back too. I don't have any damn pictures for tonight but maybe someone will send me a few.. I have two digital cameras and they both suck. Look out for phone pics on tomorrows journal. So I'm out from this episode because I got greasy Krystal Burgers beckoning me to devour them. See you at my bypass surgery!

Magz!
Dyfunkshun Junkshun
http://www.funkparty.com/

Mar 17: St Paddy's Day

It’s Monday March 17 which makes it St. Patrick’s Day. Here we are, a funk band at an Irish Pub on a Monday night. As strange as that sounds it was only exemplified when I turned to see my drummer who shall be know as a “Marctian” with green hair and a green wig. You see kids, you don’t need drugs. You just need crazy friends. I’ll just drink this Guiness and enjoy the party vibe around here.

Former DFJ guitarist Chris Max stopped by in full Rock-n-Roll regalia. Looking like a rock star I had to give him the guitar to take a solo just like the good old days. I never got a picture but I sure enjoyed seeing Mr. Max. (Nice ass... he must work out) We had an amazing time tonight, we all kinda forgot it was a Monday. We were liver-deep in green beer all night. Although extremely rythmically challenged, I have give love to the crowd for dancing all night under this big tent. This is the first show in a while where our keyboard Tony didn’t out drink the crowd. Gotta love the Irish. I was actually named after St. Patrick by my mother. Put that in your unauthorized biography about me. It might sell a few more copies. And you should see the size of my shalaylee!


Top O' the Marnin' to ya!

St. Mangum
http://www.funkparty.com/

Mar 15: One World Theatre

Arriving at the One World Theatre for another cool even at one of Austin’s coolest venues and much to my dismay, my favorite guitar amplifier and my custom wireless rack is missing!

Total loss/ $7000! My night is f’d!! I stayed unbelievably calm and called the Glass Cactus but no one seemed to have any answers. I continued calling until I found someone with some follow through.

Turns out that the security found it in the parking lot after production left last night. Honest mistake by my boys. I’ll forgive this one and move on to the next show. Just glad I got my baby back!

Mar 14: Glass Cactus, Grapevine, TX

On our way to play Big Dallas this week end. It's SXSW week in Austin and we're getting the hell out of town so we can make some money. The van is full of pissed off people after reading the Austin Music awards results. So many bands and musicians are getting recognition WHO CAN'T EVEN GET A F'N GIG! I'm not hating on any of them but so many people who keep this town don't receive acknowledgement because they don't play the political game and shake the right hands. I'd do it if I gave a damn, but since all I care about is staying in the game no matter what level that's all that matters to me. I'll wipe my ass with that section and just go to rock the Glass Cactus tonight.
This place is one of the top venues in the state and we've got ten dates here. Scenic lake view, clean band dressing rooms labeled for band use only. Hell, how you doin' Austin? Traffic was a bitch so we arrived with only minutes to spare before the venue opens. It was sheer hustle all the way. Everything was ready to go and this club has the best sound lighting in the state. My beautiful Mesa Boogie got a facelift; wicker grill cloth. I love the look. Also my new '72 Telecaster made its debut. He has been named Billy Ray Valentine and he's a Capricorn. Now Billy Ray couldn't have found a better night to debut than tonight because we were killing all night long. Nothing more to say but that. Look at a picture and feel the soul.

I'm out!

Magnum!
Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Mar 8: Speakeasy

I spent the day recording new music this afternoon. So many cool melodies I think I'll throw a few of them at the crowd and see if they jump. It's the start of SXSW so this town is full of new faces. It's evident when we walked forever trying to find a restaurant without a 45 minute wait. Even when I found one the tourists inside looked at me with fear in their eyes as if we were the out-of-towners. Yankee's go home, dammit! Enough on that.

What an amazing show tonight. We all came in with a "take no prisoners" mentality and funked the crowd from the start. We had Dave Bloomstrum sit in all night playing trumpet and Chris Thomas King came up and jammed with us as well. He played the guitar player in the movie "Ray" and "Oh Brother Where Art Thou." In the real world he used to be another Austin musician back in the early 90's. Hell, we knew each other when we still had long hair! This night was a good time despite my amp crapping out on me. That's all I got to say about that ... thank God I have 11 others to choose from! Oh yeah, some dude had on the same shoes I did. Thought I was the only one with enough balls to rock white leather Espadrilles?

Magz

Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Mar 7: Creedmoore, Tx.

Damn it! I forgot my camera again. Guess I'll have to settle for the camera phone. Wish I had it because tonight we're playing a benefit dinner at an exotic game ranch. Driving in reminds me of Jurassic Park because of all the gates, cattle guards and bizarre looking African animals roaming the ranch. Inside they have a mad amount of mounted animals on every wall. Some of these things are huge and beyond description. I always hate seeing the large predators like lions and bears mounted. They're disappearing off the planet at an alarming rate for so many reasons. I hate to see them wasted as trophy's. Now these ugly spiral horned ugly things? Y'all ain't but painted cows so people can shoot those suckers all day as long as you give me a slab of those big-ass ribs. I ain't proud..just hungry because they ain't feeding us until after the first set.

I have point out that Tony saved the day by playing both keys and bass with two hands, a foot, and one other unidentified appendage due to our un-punctual bass player. As soon as we finished and started eating the Lt. Governor (David Dewhurst) made an uncomfortable direct approach to the table and shook our hands. A-Train promptly told him to "Legalize it". I thought he was gonna have us mounted on the wall like the rest on the animals. I'm still laughing as I'm typing this. Once again we were forced to sit in a room and do nothing because the program went over the allotted time. Sit, sit, yawn, sit, ... damn, it's becoming the norm lately.

Marc and Will sampled some of the fine free vodka. I was just glad when stage call came. So many pretty rich soccer-moms making eyes at me while I sing. Pretty damn intoxicating. So now that's over I'll just drive out of this ranch and hope like hell I don't hit one of these massive jack rabbits skirting across the road.

Un-gowa!

Magz
Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Mar 2: Heaven Calls Another Blues Singer Home

Damn…here we go again. Blues guitar sensation Jeff Healey passed away this weekend after a lengthy illness. Although visually impaired he was an incredible guitar player and he had a voice as soulful and powerful as all of the greats. Why do I keep posting these messages about players no longer in the headlines? Because I’m trying to remind everyone what music is about. Not sagging pants, sampling pop tart tricks who can’t write a song, play an instrument or carry a tune but real artist who create and perform without gimmicks. I send mad respect to Jeff’s ability to defy the odds and become another legend.

Rest in peace, brother!



Magz
www.funkparty.com

Mar 1: Firehouse Saloon, Houston, TX

On the road again. Well then again when are we not lately. Just ate some expensive BBQ in Elgin that tasted like it was boiled rather than smoked. Should of went to subway. It's a beautiful day but I can only experience it from the confines of this damn van. Junior had the opportunity to meet the entire Round Rock Police Department on the way to the show. Seems he fit the description of someone and experienced the all too common encounter of being in the wrong complexion in Williamson County. This country needs a enema.


Now back to the gig. It's a little bar located off the freeway in downtown Houston. It's a bit skanky but it has that yee-haw touring band vibe. Sort, of like something you'd see on the Blues Brothers movie. I love the awesome flood light show...huh huh. And the bathroom for the band? This one's a first. An actual out house. Sort of fitting for this night because I was pissed off earlier in the first set by this big headed Potsy Webber, Happy days look'n mofo. He kept throwing balloons at me so I checked his dumb ass and made him look bigger an idiot than the fool he already was. Shame on him but he brought that shit on his self. So now instead of being known as the party guy he'll just be known as the party-pooper who almost got his ass kicked. I really wanted to crack him in the jaw but since the people in attendance shouldn't have to witness me kicking some dudes teeth in I beat him down intellectually. Outside of that dickhead the night was uneventful. Right after our first break, local yodelling auction man was up on stage... for one full hour!
The boys in the band just had to sit there and listen to him ramble on and on. The Hannah Montana tickets went for $2,500, too bad I left my checkbook in my other pants.

I had the chance to play my new guitar (Bucky) and ate some pork rinds like a real brother. Once we make the drive home, Hook is gonna crash at my house so we can record in the morning. That's right baby ducks. We live this sh*t!

Magz
Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com