Nov 30: Open Season on Holiday Ca$h

My poor head is ringing like nobody's business. Drug induced no doubt. Can't wait to get off these meds. If the event planner calls me one more time I'm gonna lose it. She's cool but baby, let us do our thang! So now I'm sitting in the back seat of TC's car on the way to the show. I wonder what it's going to take to get me motivated enough to wanna crawl out of this backseat and sing? If I knew I hope it shows up soon. I could use it. Well really, I don't need it. Maybe I'm feeling stir crazy and need some fresh air. Alas! We're here. People in this town called Killeen are totally mesmerized by us as we exit the car. They are staring at us in awe. Austin is so spoiled with all the talent that Bob Dylan could walk down Congress avenue with a guitar on his back an no one would even notice. Now put him in a Long horn jersey then look out for the stampede. It always feels good to see the boys at sound check. No matter how tired we may be there is always someone who will make you laugh.

Junior forgot his favorite bass and wound up with his clear "rock bass". We refer to it as the redemption bass in honor of his star spangled banner solo he played after our set last July 4th as the local sound crew lost their mind. Being in a band can be so damn entertaining. With nothing else to do we may as well geek out on the phone for a while but the dinner bell just went off and they just served us an excellent seven course meal. Now thats love! After the grub I actually sat through the company presentation.. Very interesting. Really! They build broad band sattelite for the governments of Iraq, Afgahnistan, and several countires in Africa. Nice to see diplomacy in action. Even more interesting is the fact that this is an alcohol free company party. I guess the chance of seeing another drunk sales guy with a lamp shade on his head or a tipsy secretary dancing on a table tonight aint gonna happen. We played our hearts out but they gave back as much as I expected of a bunch of sober people in suits would expect to do. We just clowned the whole night to break the monotany. Maybe it was wild. If it was I can't see it through all these drugs. I guess I may as well drink a shot of the cough syrup for the ride home. Thanks for riding with me.

Haaaaaaack-tooooooooey! Careful. Don't step on that.

Magz

Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Nov 29: The Belmont ... Hazy Days of Winter

Well here I go again. Another hazy day over after being at work all day and feeling like I'm in a fog due to a bunch of drugs. I think the pharmacutical industry is getting over by charging far too much money on prescription drugs but sometimes they are the best solution for those of us burning the candle a both ends.

Even though I'm sick I'm looking forward to the Belmont tonight. We get some good grub prior to the show and the cool weather will make things pretty easy to groove. I talked to Marc and he to sounds as bad as I feel. Now that the cough medicine has taken full effect let's see how it feels to drive down I-35 in rush hour traffic. I was amazed to find it to be pretty light for a change. Now the weather was pretty chilly and that's not good for this raw throat. I'll tough it out because I owe everyone who came out here to see us. The Dallas/Greenbay game was so if you know anything about Texas, the streets roll up around here when the cowboys are having a winning season.

Not much to say about tonight except Hook had on a really pretty shirt. He wanted to play his solo sitting on one of the monitors. Truth be told I think he wanted let the ladies check out his style. I ain't mad at ya. Y'all know that's how I roll.

Lay-da!

Magz

Nov 23: Merkaba Lounge

Subject: Nov. 23 Merkaba Lounge

Ahhhhhhh. The day after Thanksgiving. Hope you got your grub on like I tried. I had the rare opportunity to have dinner with my parents and the rest of my family. Eating at home is always great except we did the potluck thing (which is cool) but I prefer moms cooking. Coincidentaly this is the biggest shopping day for retail and they call it "Black Friday". Hell, they should call it "Broke Friday" the way I see it. I'm trying to get to the gig and all of these holiday shoppers are messing up my flow. Man, get out of my way. I've got to make some noise in this city tonight. Truth be told, I really would like to stay home and get some sleep. A few of my friends "mistakingly" called me early the last two mornings and I feel like an old sock. I've been a bit under the weather and my ears are ringing from all the cold medicine. I probably need to take something because my head is throbbing too. I think what I really need to do is just get up and get down.

I've got some new toys on my pedal board so that should be enough to motivate me. Once I had a chance to play through it live it sounded great.

We had Nathan sitting in on sax again and I'm here to tell you, this dude can blow. Only 21 years old and he sounds like a seasoned vet. He's got a nuclear future for sure. I was thrilled that so many people came out but I wasn't very happy with our performace. We've sounded better and I'm not one to let a sloppy performance go unnoticed. My throat felt like it had broken glass in it all night so singing was not very pleasureable tonight. I'll let this one wash away like stanky bath water.

Thanks for reading...

Magz

Dyfunkshun Junkshun www.funkparty.com

Nov 24: Fort Worth...Holiday Traffic Sucks!

Yee-haw bitches! We're on our way to cowtown for another swank debutaunt ball. I feel a touch better but still a bit disappointed with my performance last night. Maybe I'm just too hard on myself at times. The crowd seemed to enjoy it so that's really all that should matter but I need to get what I desire out of this as well. Last night was like bad sex for me, I didn't get what I needed out of it but at least it was still sex. I know. Creepy anology but that's me sometimes. Now the weather is cold, rainy and snow is in the forecast. This really sucks because I'm not the only person feeling ill.. TC's sick and he's got this hat on. I told him he looks like one of the Cosby kids. When I showed the picture to him he made me swear that I wouldn't post it but this is too funny to ignore. So I just guzzled a gallon of coffee and I hope it will be the key shaking me out of this medicinal haze I find myself under again. I could use a strong performance to get me through this dreary day. That is if we can ever get there. Holiday traffic sucks. Hell, holidays suck. Since self loathing isn't getting me very far I may as well answer my phone. Its my production manager Will letting me know they made it but he's getting no cooperation from the venue and they may be late getting set up. Told him I hate to hear that but if it helps him any, we will probably be late as well because the rain is coming down in buckets and this will soon be turning into snow..oh damn. We haven't even made it to the freaking venue. Oh yeah, I hate holidays. My headache seems to have intensified over the last few hours, a little something to accompany my sore throat I guess. I'm trying to find it in me to dig up a smile and a convincing vibe for this audience to make them believe I'm happy to be here tonight. Somehow I know I'll make it happen. I have to. Now that we've made it we wondered how our counterparts in the other vehicle are doing? As we park I notice the other guys standing outside the van with bewildered looks on their faces. They decided to get off the beaten path of the interstate in order to take the backroads but they learned the hard way never to leave the true route. They were all covered in mud and looked a bit bewildered. Turns out they found out the short cut ended at a muddy road. Tony said he would post his story so I'm looking forward to getting a laugh out of it. After sound checked we were escorted down a hall, up a flight of stairs, and a few stutter steps to the right to a green room. I know its not much but to have a green room with hot food is the most hospitable thing a venue can ever do for a working band.

You're liable to be stampeded if you stand between the boys and a warm meal after a long road trip. We needed all the fuel we could get for this evening. I'm happy to say that much needed strong night was a reality. Although a bit cold first thirty minutes, we were treated with, love, respect and warm chinese food the rest of the evening. We sounded like the strong soul machine that we be. And guess what? My headache is no longer alive. Funny how a good night can ease most of my pain. We just need to make it home in one piece through this freezing rain and cold wind. Hold me damn it! Hold me...

Magz

Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Nov 18: 3 out of 5 stars!

We're playing at a wedding reception in Austin at the Wildflower Center. It’s a beautiful place and its nice playing outside but tonight that won't be the case because of mother nature. The threat of rain forced the band to setup inside. Now everyone is in panic mode, except our production manager Will and his nerves of steel. That’s my man! About that time Hook walks in with the current Austin Chronicle Paper. Unbeknownst to any of us, the CD was reviewed in this issue. Now, I can say I really don't give a damn what critics have to say because I never let anyone’s opinion decide my fate, but to me it’s nice to have your art recognized considering how things like this are so crucial to get "street cred" as a composer around here. They give it three out of five stars and refer to it as "good". Considering how they usually shit on every other local project I guess that's pretty cool. Also, it's a limp dick-slap in the face of so many people who referred to this band as just a "cover band" while their projects never see the light of day..that’s right. I said it! After reading the review I was feeling great all night during the show despite the number of condescending punks who continually tried to tell me how and what to play. The beauty of it is one guy wanted to toast everyone so I gave him the mic and gave a few directions on what not to do. He looked at me as if he was far beyond taking any guideline from the likes of me. He turned to speak and stood right in front of the speaker and got blasted with speaker feed back...priceless!

Magz

Dyfunkshun Junkshun

www.funkparty.com

Nov 18: Pre-show

Damn! The maid service woke me up. It's time to to get back in the studio. Hours before the show and in the studio providing some production work for rapper Trade Marques. In two hours we managed two record three songs. I owed him a few solids so this was my way to show him love for all the help he's given us over the years. He's got a video shoot tomorrow and wants me to be in it. Damn...I can't get off this train!

Magz
Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Nov 17: Speakeasy

Subject: Nov. 17 Speakeasy

Well everyone should be fired up for tonights show after last night. I know I'm ready. I'm going to attempt to take a short nap since I'm only on four hours of sleep. My guess is that it won't happen because people usually start blowing up my phone around showtime. I hate that but since I'm the one who got this mess started I have to steer this big 'ol piece of dookie. So for that reason I didn't bother trying to sleep. Instead I lay on my bed like a zombie and watched a documentary about U2. I've been following them since their first album and long for the day to be free to focus on creating music without the tremendous amount of drama on the local scene. I've never wanted to be a "rock star" so to speak. I've always just wanted to create and share emotion. I guess music has become a religion to me now and without music I'd be a pretty dangerous person.

So now that I've shared so much of me let me get off my ass and go to tonights church at the Speakeasy. When I arrive I immediately lose my good feeling because my amp sounds like garbage. I think its time to change my set up. I have as many amps as I have guitars so I can pick and choose.

Then once again I'm forced to change clothes in another dark and lovely bathroom. I miss the days when this town cared about musicians and actually had dressing rooms. When we hit the stage it was evident that our rep is growing stronger. I know this because the place was slamming all night. The house was straight packed.

The one thing I really remember was the lawyer I knew in the front row who continued to buy us shots of tequila. What a trip. I don't even like it but for some reason it continued to force its way into my liver. I always hate getting buzzed at a show because once I sweat out the booze the night drags on. And it did. So now that its finally over I'm going home to have a bowl of cereal and sleep this shit off.

Viva Patron!

Magz

Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Nov 15: Back at the Belmont

Well alright ya'll! Let's get back in the swing of things. I'm sure everyone in the band will be pretty hyped from Tuesdays TV show. I haven't seen the broadcast yet but I've heard we looked great but the audio was distorted most of the performance. I'm not worried. My rep is formed from being a live performer anyways. Ya'll know that!

So here we are at the Belmont. We really need a strong night since I consider us "1-1". These things take a little time. So now I've fought my way through the traffic and into the club. When I park the car and get out I get a really scenic view of the down town buildings. Not every country boy's vision but to me it looks like progress. So once outside I realize it's cold...very cold. I mean cold for us. I think it's about 49 degrees and that's too damn cold for me.

We've ordered some food so that means we'll have to eat fast since we're outside. That probably won't be a problem for me since I'm so hungry. And apparently so were the rest of the boys. I hate having to change clothes in the restroom. People are usually cool when they come in but nothing worse than changing your clothes while you have listen to random people pissing.

Despite the cold weather the house was rocking all night. Junior was on stage with less than three hours of sleep but you would have never known.

Again we had the pleasure of TC playing with Larry Seyer. It's like listening to two guitar hero's. I swear I get wood every time they play together.

Marc's friend Nathan sat in on sax. He played some really nice stuff with Hook. It was nice to have two horns again. I know we were on fire because the women were all over a brother. If we would have sucked tonight they wouldn't have given me the time of day. Ok, ya'll know that ain't true because I've got more game than a Sony Play Station Portable. I'm really happy we had such a good crowd and this a great to start the weekend. Well, it's late and I need a shower.

Later,

Magnum

Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Nov 14: Live TV on the Infynit Hour

So here it is. The night of the live DFJ TV apperance and I've got the head ache from hell. WTF? Not tonight. Either way I have to suck it up and show my ass tonight. I don't half-step when I hit the stage. Well that was my plan at least.

Our good friend and former sound man Norm came by to hang out. He just got off the road with country super star Alan Jackson and rock icons Kiss. Mad respect to him.

Once we started sound check for the audio crew I broke a damn guitar string. I guess that works out because this guitar is refusing to stay in tune. I've got 14 guitars I happen to grab the one that won't cooperate. TC was kind enough to let me use one of his guitars. Now that we're finished sound checking we get to play the waiting game. Sitting in the green room I noticed these huge paper machet figures with guitars.

Damn! Somebody put LSD in the coffee or something cuz those are tripping me out! Once stage call arrived we were on fire the entire time. It was strange perfoming into a camera that long without an audience. And according to the guys in the band my segue commentaires between songs were too funny. I can't wait to see it. When ever I get that creative spirit I say some very animated shit but I can't recall it. I'll just have to watch.

Mad respect to Orlando and the crew from the Infynit hour ..... Peace!

Magz

Dyfunkshun Junkshun
http://www.funkparty.com/

Nov 12: Last minute rehearsal

It's Monday night and we really thought it would be a good idea to get together to run some of the song from the CD with Selton since he's only played them once or twice. I really admire his dedication because in one day he learned four songs off the CD. They sound great and TC showed up to coach him on it as well. We spent about two hours making some serious magic. Can't wait until Tuesday night. I'm a little nervous since it's live TV but a little pressure is a good thing to break the norm. Check out tomorrows post. It should be pretty interesting.

Magz
Dyfunkshun Junkshun
http://www.funkparty.com/

Nov 10: Two shows...Twice the Exhaustion

After waking up from last nights food and funk we all rolled out of bed and then to the stage. Lately this band makes me feel like a fat kid in the bakery with his allowance. I'm gonna get it while the goings good. The first show was a day event and I tell ya, I did my best to contain myself when some little girl in the party had the nerve to tell me after the second song to pick it up or we can leave. I crawled up her ass like a barbed wire supositiry (Damn that's pretty funny). We played a short time, ate a few table scraps(and I do mean scraps) then jumped into our rides for the trip way out in Willie Nelson country.

We played a party at an 8800 square foot home. I don't think it was a HUD home.. We were some what out of the way but all of the people were so nice it made up for the thin crowd. I will say they were some of friendliest we've had the pleasure playing for. Every dude in the house reminded me of a high school football coach. You know the broad-shouldered, sharp chin, macho man. Much testosterone and posturing. The hardest part about tonight will be driving on these country roads at night getting back to Austin. Two nights in a row about half of a mile past BFE. Show me the way to go home. I'm gonna drink myself asleep, wake up and drown myself in chicken wings and sweaty, greasy stinky money.

Magnum

Dyfunkshun Junkshun
http://www.funkparty.com/

Nov 10: Crazy-Ass Saturday

One of those "Two-Gig Saturdays" that rolls around now and again. Both private events at private residences, and the whole day was filled with fuuuuun shit!


Here's me with some guy, Ed. He was kinda tall, almost too tall. (Is that subtle enough for ya?) Nice guy, nice Rolex. Super big hands. TC ran into him in Vegas back in his boxing years... you couldn't pay me enough to jump in a ring with this guy. Even the size of his sportscoat was scary. Just to put the photo into perspective, I'm 6 feet tall.

This was a wedding and reception, we played a pretty beat-up version of Love Actually, and unfortantely, it sounded like Ass Actually. Bride loved us though, she's a trip.

I tried to take a short cut from one gig to the second, but couldn't find the last connector. I knew we were close, just under pressure to get to the next gig. Effing dark. Had to double back to 71 about 20 extra miles. But this house was there waiting for us... Can I even still use the word"house?"

So this picture doesn't even do it justice, camera phone, but I was blown away by this property. Tile everything, lots of windows, waterfall in the pool, indoor & outdoor bars, 15 flat screen televisions, tons of food and bottles of booze everywhere. I kept expecting everyone at the entire party to suddently turn into vampires and eat the band ... I guess we left early.

They had us setup right infront of the pool, which was great until A-trains $1.00 hat flew in. Easy come easy go ... "Whoever jumps in the pool gets a FREE HAT!"

Then a kind gentleman was (ahem) kind enough to hand us a bottle of vodka. A chilled bottle of Grey Goose. This is our second Saturday in a row where a bottle joined the band. Must be something in the air ... must be something in my belly.

I remember NOT taking a big pull on that bottle, for good reason. The ride home was up and down and left and right and DEER and OH SHIT ! But I also remember, it was Nice and Cold.




The owner was a trip, not what you'd expect. Clayton and Austin were very accomadating. Train and I had to sit down and review the maps getting out. We had several dead-ends that worked in our favor, and it was trouble free. I was out of gas (it actualy read 0 miles to empty) so Train was following me to the gas station. He told me I was driving good, staying between those silly lines... the deer were kind enough to stay out of my way.

where-the-hell-am-I ?

GOOCH

Nov 9: BFE

So here we are. No sleep and no preshow meal. Playing another party for a group of people and I have no idea of the ages. Everyone worked today so we're all tired and grumpy. I think I have the crown because I still mad as hell and don't have much patience for anything other than sleep.

I'm sitting in my car trying to catch some "zzzz's" but the phone won't stop ringing. Guess I should have known better. After all the answering I figured I'd snoop around a BAM! Out came some great BBQ. After eating our fill the people showed up and it was on. We had a great crowd who danced all night long. At least until 11p.

So now the party is over its time to play "dodge that deer" on the back woods roads. Hopefuly we'll make it home in piece because we have two show tomorrow. I can't wait to have an hour just to sit in my house and do nothing. Hell, maybe bext week. Right!

Magz

Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Nov 8: The Belmont

I'm still freaking on this warm weather.
Tonight we're back at our new Thursday gig at the Belmont. As I arrive I see the owner and night manager walking around nervously because its a fairly dense happy hour. I hope the night ends well cuz I wanna keep this place. Driving here from north Austin is a pain so I'm gonna make up for it with a damn good meal. Mmm, mmm, bitch! Some of the country clubs we play could learn from this place. Marc was out of town this week so the always funky Les Fisher played with us. We played a heavy dose of nuclear funk all night. Maybe a bit too much for the somewhat unfunky audience. This place is starting to look like Club OJ. Just to mix it up I throw out a different flavor and catch a few of the guys rolling their eyes when I'm not looking. Wow. I guess they forgot that we can't get lost in what we want but what the people want. So we'll keep giving it. Well at least I will!

Magz

Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Nov 3: The Road BACK from Nowhere

When Marc says, "I'll drive," there's about 1/2 a second before I say, "Cool." But on this occasion, I almost would have rather taken the wheel then suffer through the ride in the back seat. I think he was getting even with me, the way I was accellerating down the hills to the low water crossings, which made him approach Car-sick-ness...

Remember when you were 16, you just got your licence and you were out driving with your friend at night? Then for FUN you turned off your headlights? Well, Marc must have been having fun, I was having mini panic attacks every time. It's not so bad with the running lights on, the road was visible, still effing scary, but when the lights went off completely... man, when did I get so old? This is what is looked like, and we're going about 60 mph. There's nothing out there but hills, a road, and plenty of roadkill to serpentine. I kept expecting myself to just relax and enjoy the freak-out, but I eventually had to just shut my eyes ... looked the same, anyway.

I guess it's ok to get out of your Comfort Zone every now and then, but when you step into your Heart Attack Zone, it's a different vibe. I'll take comfort. "I'll take another shot off that bottle... better make it two."

GOOCH

Nov 3: The Road to Nowhere

I don't feel like I've even been to bed. After waking up from the haze of Temple we all piled into the car so we can take the long country ride to a small town called Sisterdale.

I've never heard of this place but I bet the drive will be scenic. Indeed it was. I love looking at all of the open pastures and horse fields only dreaming of one day owning something like it. One more thing to keep me motivated. The drive back is going to be exciting because at least twenty miles of this trip is on old, unrepaired county road. Bet I'm the first brother who's been down here in decades. I'm serious. So now that were here we're just gonna lounge in our green room. I think we better because I've seen some of the biggest hornets in my life. Most of those bastards didn't have stingers. They had AK-47's. Serious bugs ya'll.

So if you've read the earlier entries you probably know that we had a crazy amount of time before we got the chance to play. We then ate what must have been the worlds ugliest sandwiches on a stank ass sandwich platter. I took one bite then told my stomach to wait for the buffet. By the time we hit the buffet everything was cold. Every meal I've had has been cold today. Well at least the crowd wasn't. Tonights event turned into a drunken frat party in no time at all. The host of the event was some kind of part-time singer, or at least he thought he was because wanted to sing every other song. He wasn't bad at first but the drunker he got the more he became an annoyance. But hey, he was still a nice guy and was sincere about our creature comforts so I rest my case. The only thing left to do now is make the drive home while dodging the deer, armadillos, and porcupines on the country roads. That's what its like in Texas hill country. It's like a roller coaster, except without the fun. Marc was getting car sick thanks to Gooch's Ricky Rudd driving style. They got to the gig just in time, another minute and it would have been messy.

I'm done typing so that means you're done reading.

Ciao'

Magnum
Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Nov 3..Still in Africa

Sigh.....still in the African room. Some really cool art in here and lots of dead stuff.

I've been facinated by wild life, especially big game. I always wanted to bag something huge and majestic but what's the point? If you don't do it with your hands it doesn't make you any more macho.

However, I have bagged a few big girls in my time. Now that's a manly feeling!

Magz

Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Nov 3: Just killing time

So were stuck in this african themed room before the show. Sitting here trying to figure how to use latest guitar recording software. We have three hours until showtime. Damn I'm bored stiff. Bring on the night!

Dyfunkshun Junkshun
www.funkparty.com

Nov 3: Time will tell...

We survided last night and we made it through the day jobs. Time to play Temple again. Last time it was weak and we stopped early due to a little money dispute with the club. They've convinced me it won't happen so we're gonna give it another shot. I'm gonna keep it old school all night. You ready for that Temple? Like I said, time will tell. Well time was a cross eyed sap-sucker with bad toe nails. We were on fire but the crowd was a bit thin . One thing we had the pleasure of tonight was playing some of the music from the cd with Junior playing the bass. It felt great. That was the most memorable thing about tonight. Well that was the most action of the night. I guess I'll go some where and eat some junk before crashing. Goonight fine people!

Dyfunkshun Junkshun

www.funkparty.com

Nov 2: TC Gets Pretty

It's preshow time. We got's to be sexy!..in the bathroom. That's one thing I hate about most clubs. They never have a dressing room for you. I guess we'll just make do. This is a new venue so we have to be sharp. The end result was one hell of a night. Nine time grammy winner Larry Seyer came out and jammed with us. Listening to him play with TC is great. Maybe one day I'll learn to play like that. In the mean time I better get back work. Maybe I'll bring my good camera tonight. Maybe I won't. Then again flash would be nice.

Dyfunkshun Junkshun

www.funkparty.com